So you want me to tank your random?

Yes this is a rant about the LFG feature...

First off let me say that I will tank for guildies/friends anyday of the week and usually when someone dings 80 I step up to chain tank heroics to help out..plus the gold and buying gems are always a bonus:P

But when I enter a random (usually with a healer friend/dps from the guild) I only expect to have to tank..not saying that if someone is new 80 I /lol at them ..I try to be helpful.

But as of late..I have turned in "that guy" ..the tank that wants to run the show..set the pace and ensure a good run...what we have been getting is :

Mr AFK: The toon that zones in and goes afk at the entrance and gets his rewards without effort

Mr OMGDPS The guy that spams his meters from trash/bosses (yes your awesome that you did 7k on a boss that was alive for 30secs..hate to tell you but my mage did 9k same boss an hour earlier:P)

Mr I will lead the Group...this is prolly my fav of..go to occulus and after the first boss kill 1 guy mounts and fly's off in a diffrent direction...because he knows better and spams trade that im fail because i went the other way lol

Mr I can tank...least favorite but most fun (you will see below why:P)

Dealing with the jerks above plus a group of new 80's can put some stress on your daily random...so heres how I deal with them:)

Mr Afk: I dont spam/poke/yell/emote at them..I let them afk but I slow the pace down so that the timer expires before pulling the final boss...then votekick them..the get a debuff and dont get the end reward and blizz gets a record as to them getting kicked..cant wait for 3.3.3

Mr OMGDPS : is another simple one to shut them up..my pally raid spec'd using SoC will pull more dps on trash than most geared toons because of how fast the mobs die, when the meters start..I link mine everytime I beat them on a pull...usually only have to do it twice..whats better is when Dotties disc priest beats them on a pack as the healer..priceless:)

Mr I will lead the group : It is quite simple..he can go wander off where he wants..because I am sure when the others follow the tank and healer they get the point (even if I get spammed that im fail:P)...truth be told I think me and dottie can 2man most heroics except cos and the new icc 5 mans..usually the guy ends up leaving because of something I said about his mother lol

Mr I can tank : These people make me LOL everytime..because the first time they pull something I hit my macro :

"Welcome to tank and spank airlines"
"The only rules are, have fun and if you pull it you tank it"
"Enjoy your flight"

That will usually make the point...but there are some who think they will just tank it..except they wont get heals as the healer is in vent with me lol
Prime example of this was in CoS last night on my warrior, a boomkin with a 0/71/0 spec and a mix of 264/178 gear decided on the smokefilled run to the extraboss that he was going to run ahead and pull as man as he could..we had 10 mins on the timer so he was just being silly..I hit the macro..he doesnt stop pulling.
In /p chat I said ok mr boomkin your tanking, which leads him to pull the bonus and try to run back to the group..I just lol'd at him as he went splat..I think I made my point.

If you are a fresh 80 you have nothing to fear from seeing me as your tank because I do not care if you pull 800dps or are in quest blues/greens...I will not mock your skill..If I notice you are new I will ask and be helpful if you are trying because it is a game...for fun.

If you are one of the Mr's above...watch out because I turn in to "that guy" and your wait time for que's is longer than mine and come 3.3.3 you wont be in my group for long:)